If programming languages were music albums - Part 1

Hey all you programming music fans out there. Yes, we (that is, programmers) are rockstars trapped in offices. I like to play the guitar or the piano while thinking on problems such as how to make that damn piece of code faster, better or obsolete. Later on, while writing the code, I really need to listen to some music. Now, what if my favourite albums were programming (or scripting) langauges? So here we go...

PHP
Ok, this one was really hard, since i have to choose an album I actually like, which I can't say about PHP. Well PHP got better over the time (Version 5 and up) but not like wine does. It kinda got less bad. While PHP may be ok to use for small projects hosted on a cheap (standard apache) server like personal websites or blogs, it should NEVER EVER be used for anything bigger. Code maintainability is a bitch. If you know what a binary tree is, I think you'd prefere an abacus over PHP.

So, which album does fit?

It's Stoner Witch by (the) Melvins. It was released in 1994. And like PHP you look at it and think, what the fuck. It's strange, doesn't seem to fit - there's grunge, metal and stoner rock and a dog.

I grabbed this album a few years back and didn't like it. But after some time it, like PHP, got less bad.

But as I said, my dislike of this language can't be described (productive) by any album I own.

Maybe some electro album would serve better. Fast, not deep and boring after two weeks. If someone has a better idea, just give it a comment.



C / C++
I really don't have to talk about those. They're here. They always have and always will, at least until quantum computing or what ever there will come and make those good old electrical transistors go away. Motörhead!

Mötrhead? Ace Of Spades! Yes, say what you want, it's the best album of Motörhead there is, was and ever will be. Just like C / C++, its hard, brute force and ugly. Not really ugly as in Visual Basic ugly. Since C / C++ is to Motörhead as Visual Basic is to a 59 year old, crack whore.

But it's so basic without bells and whistles, it's one step above assembler so you can dug your hands in and get dirty (well you could do this too with Visual Basic, but just not in a good way).

The same is Ace Of Spades, its beautiful trash, it's - I don't know - Tank Girl, beer in the morning and drunk sex.


Javascript
It will die with human civilization as we know it. Period. Javascript is woven into the Internet like veins thorugh a body. While any language which is bound to a technology you can actually grab or replace like microchips and harddrives, Javascript is the Internet. The Internet will live forever and so will Javascript.

London Calling by The Clash. Just as Javascript will stay and not go (hope you get the hint) so will this album. Charismatic, simple yet deep, emotional and easy.

Joe Strummer will live forever.

Stay tuned for part 2.